Green one (greenf8) wrote,
Green one

Of men and women

Naturally, most men and women want to worship each other. Men want to be close to and take care of women, especially but not limited to the context of a relationship. Most people seem to want to take care of each other and be taken care of by each other. This is extremely obvious if you look at school children. They constantly turn to each other for help, and constantly give it to one another. Of course there constant exception that make the news in a way that seems to be engineered to scare all people into paranoia.
The kid who brings a gun to school, or the one who assaults a classmate is the exception however not the rule. Ever notice how there is never a story about how a group of children word together and create a really insightful project, but there are an amazing number of means about how one child is always doing all the work? Rarely does anyone hear about the kids who offer friendship to an outcast though it happens so often that most have experienced it. Of course adults often hear about the murder of rich and powerful, or abuse of the poor, but rarely is there a news story about the change given to the homeless man, or the umbrella the guy gave stranger on a rainy day, or the lost pet returned home, or the couch and shower that lifted a homeless out of their situation.
Most people are good people, however it's pretty obvious that even good people sometimes do bad things. It's tempting to think that if those people do bad things they are bad people, but doing so is a grave mistake. To understand this illusion, look at money.
Money seems more real to most people than the ground under their feet. However it has almost no physical presence. Banks loan out money that doesn't exist but call so frequently and talk so much about it, that the money becomes real. Employers provide it to their workers and take it from customers. It is given value by the labor it commands. Why does it have the ability to make so many people work so hard, and even cost some people the air from their lungs?
Sometimes when bad things happen, some people choose to blame each other rather than taking steps to make sure it doesn't happen again. Everyone has heard the story of a poor girl sacrificed to the gods to ensure a good harvest. That god is almost as real as money. They have idles that represent him or her, they believe very strongly that the god wants them to do things, the priest distributes some of efforts of their labor. Perhaps the sacrifice had spoken against the god and that is why she had to die, perhaps people who strike against the dollar face a similar fate.
Today people don't think about money as a god though. So instead of trying to appease some god for their problems many blame each other. It takes effort to thrive, but at the same time, not all effort is useful. Not all effort takes humanity forward. Misguided people often believe the answer to attack those who they believe are causing the problem. Rather than spend days or weeks trying to find a real solution that takes the complex reality of the problem into account, they simplify the issue. They often try to figure out who is to blame thinking that once they know that they will know who to attack. They will take steps to defend themselves that result in their isolation.
For example, look at the growing rift between men and women on the internet. Men want women to be with them, women also want to be with men. Most of them want to pair up, or at least believe that they are the only one for the other. Looking at the past this makes a little bit of sense, in order for a man to make his spawn carries on, he wants to make sure it's his. So men really can't stand the idea of a woman cheating, but if a man cheats, his partner than has to fear being left and having to face the world alone, trying to support the young one. Evolution has also made sure both parties will always want to cheat. In response society has developed marriage, telling both parties it's time to settle down, and given a strong implication that a girl who has been with a number of men is less desirable. Men have started chasing women with so much force while implying that if they respond at all they are weak. Women however need to make sure they are cared for, and many men will just leave them if the men do not think they are good enough. In some cultures women are forbidden to work, because a man's salary is suppose to support the family. At times it almost seems that women are disadvantaged in the work place, to keep them dependent on the man supporting them. Obviously this upsets women it causes them to feel forced into a life of service to men. If the men doing it realized it, they would stop. It is such an ugly accident that even mentioning can bring scorn. Despite that, many women have decided that they need to just avoid men entirely, in the past that means everything from finding solace and support from religious, to simply demanding and creating places men are not allowed. Of course men have many of these groups too, but fewer are being created and many are opening up their doors to women. However, now we have groups of women actively rejecting all men, because they have given on trying their position.
Equality means working together. With each other, it doesn't make sense how women in tech in this city seem to think that a separate learning group for adults should not include both men and women. Why are there so many groups of women who are against working with men?
Not to say that women shouldn't be able to escape men, but what is the point of saying that they can't code with women? In fact separating work like this creates the impression of the other for both men and women.
The other is the most dangerous concept that has ever existed, without it there can be no wars. Most people don't enslave or oppress those they can relate to for doing so opens up the possibility that they might deserve and experience it too. Once a group with either religious, cultural, or biological differences is labeled other, it is fair game to attack that group before you are attacked. History is full of examples of this, look at any well recorded war and the examples are prominent. Either the attacked or the aggressor will show very obvious signs of this, but there isn't space or time to list them all.
Making one group into the other alienates both. It is time for it to end, men and women should be able to interact freely, without fear. Sex is a beautiful thing when love is there, when there is no fear. That doesn't mean that men and women should be having non stop orgies, just that both need to understand it more fully. Men and women don't owe it to each other, but occasionally we gift it to each other. Men need to stop trying to scare women, and women need to stop being scared of men. Men and women need each other, men need to let women take credit for the amazing stuff they do, and women need to be able trust men to do that. Historically, men have claimed many great works that seem to have actually been done by women. That needs to never happen again, reparations could setting the record straight so that young women have other women to look up to, so that school children can see how men and women can work together without something stupid like sex getting in the way.
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